Hope

For Mother's Day this year, after a compelling message about being brave, our church gave away key necklaces to all the women in the congregation.  Each necklace had 1 of 3 words engraved on in - Hope, Love or Courage.  The intent of the necklace was to keep it until you encountered someone who needed the word more than you did.  Because the message had been on bravery, "Courage" was the first of the keys to be out of stock.  Everyone had connected with the message and saw a place in their life that they needed more courage, myself included.  We were just starting the journey with Jonah and his EoE and it felt overwhelming.  As I couldn't get the word I thought I needed, I took "Hope".  As "Hope" wasn't "my" word, I quickly passed the necklace onto someone else who needed it more than I did.

Fast-forward just a few short weeks, and we entered this much more complicated journey we're currently on.  It wasn't long before I was given a few "Courage" key necklaces as people all throughout our community were trying to encourage and support us.  It seems fair that courage would be required for this journey, as we face so many things that are harder than we ever dreamed.  For better or worse though, I have always had the motto, "It is what it is".  There's so much you can't control in life, and so you impact the change you can and let go of the rest.  Because of that, courage hasn't been the word I've actually connected with, but I didn't know what my word was.  Then, one day a few weeks ago some friends gave me this bracelet - Hope - and I cried.  That's my word.  I know the hope that does not disappoint is the hope of heaven, but there is also regular good 'ole fashion hope that can fuel these hard days, and that's what I need, and God knew that on Mother's Day.  He was laying the foundation to remind me that it's hope I need and not courage.  He's wired me to need hope over courage.

Today, another friend gave me another bracelet with the word "Hope" etched into it and I cried again.  Despite all the great strides that Jonah makes, my hope bucket is always alarmingly low.  It's as though God knows how dangerous I find good 'ole fashion hope, as after receiving the second "Hope" bracelet today, I also got 30 hope-inspired quotes.  Without people knowing that I need the reminder that hope it ok, the reminders keep coming.  As dangerous as hope may be, it's ok to hope.

And then, as I'm putting Jonah to bed tonight, his little voice pipes up, "Mummy, I'm glad God gave me you." and I know that there is a place for both good 'ole fashion hope and the hope of heaven in our story.  Jonah knows where he comes from, he knows where he's going (as much as a recently turned 5 year old can) and in that there is great hope.