It's Just Hair

We're really in the thick of things now.  There are so many things that you expect going into chemo, but when they actually come, they're harder to deal with.  We've had mouth sores, vomiting and nausea, neutropenic fevers leading to septic shock - and now we've got hair loss.  It's so cliche - it's probably the #1 side effect people think about when they think of chemo.  The thing is, it's not cliche when you lift your little boy up and his pillow is covered in hair.  It's not cliche when you're wiping hair strands out of his eyes.  It's not cliche anymore, it's hard.

We made the decision tonight to shave Jonah's head.  As hard as it was, it was just as hard to see the hair falling out, so at least this way it's all over with at once.  Now there is no doubt though, Jonah is a cancer patient.  His surgical scars have no protection from view, his shunt is a visible lump on his head.  I get that it's just hair and that it will grow back once he's done with chemo.  I think what makes it hard is that right now we're waiting for the Jonah we know to recover from the posterior fossa syndrome, to start talking to us again, laughing with us again, playing games with us again.  Right now he doesn't act like the Jonah we know and now he doesn't look like the Jonah we know either.

Perhaps it's God's timing - on the day that Jonah losses his hair, we have something exciting to focus on.  Our friend, Elizabeth, has designed a #teamjonahgoodall shirt as a rallying point and a fundraiser.  (http://www.booster.com/teamjonahgoodall) The proceeds of the shirts will go directly to our local Ronald McDonald house as a way to provide tangible support to others walking a hard road.  We know that so many people are on our team, supporting us, praying for us and encouraging us as we go.  You don't have to have a shirt to be part of the team, but it does add a bit of novelty, and takes the focus off the hair.  (pretend I just inserted a smile emoji, but I only know how to do that on text)